Sometimes it so happens that a righteous person is so unfortunate that his son or daughter or some of his sons or daughters go astray and do not follow the path of the parents. Now this is a very complex question because it is a question about generalities and the situations change from place to place and family to family and no single answer can be given as to the two real reasons behind that going astray of the offspring having been born and provided the best of atmosphere.
Now this changes, for example, in certain areas in the past experience of Ahmadiyya. I particularly observe that the offsprings of very pious parents or very pious Ahmadi men, I should say, had gone astray and ultimately broke their relation and contact with the community. For example, it is applicable to Bengal, Bangladesh in particular. It is also applicable to northwest frontier province to a large extent. There was a time when very important and influential families had accepted Ahmadiyyat or their elders had accepted Ahmadiyyat and the Ahmadiyyat spread like anything. It almost swept the imagination of the entire population, that is the nobles among them, the leaders among them.
For example, in northwest province, you will find hardly a family whose elders had not accepted Ahmadiyyat. But unfortunately, in most cases, if not all, of course not all, but in many cases, we found later on that the children became very much disinterested. Now, when I analysed the situation through Mr. Pradamul Ahmadiyya once, it was many, many years ago, I employed Pradamul Ahmadiyya, Kayareen, etc., when I happened to be a Sadr, and I told them to investigate each case. Particularly, I wanted an answer to the question whether the mother of such families were also Ahmadis or non-Ahmadis.
So, I was surprised to find, but in fact I was expecting, half expecting it, that in each case the mother was non-Ahmadi. The father had accepted Ahmadiyyat, the mother remained non-Ahmadi, and the father was not prudent enough to care for this and would not preach to his wife. Now, that was my first impression, that how imprudent of him to have neglected the wife and ultimately to have lost the whole family. Then, later on, I investigated further, and those of the fortunate families, who had both the parents as Ahmadis, I contacted with them, and one family member, who already had, you know, was thinking on the same lines, you know, they were also of the same mind, they helped me understand the phenomena. They said what happened was a traditional habit of the Pathan of that time, to consider his wife too low a thing to be taken seriously and equally on the same footing.
So, it will be degrading for a Pathan, according to the members of their family. Of that time, particularly, to treat wife so equally as to try to convince her and go into debate with her about religious differences. The Khawaneen would say it is far below us and the wife must follow. Really, really, she’s following the same concept, the same belief as we are holding. And the wife would never let them go, would never dare it, or was cunning enough not to make them realize that she was not following.
So, he told me that this is an experience we have found. He knew some families very closely, and in the childhood he was moving among them, and he said what happened was that when father was away, mother would breathe into the ears of their children, that look here, you need this and you need that, and your father is spending all this money, wasting it on Jamaat-e-Ahmadiyya, and sending it to Qadian. And then she went into league with the Mullah. And Mullah was a menial in those days. Now he has become the overlord of everybody in Pakistan.
But his real place, historical place in Pakistan has been that of a menial. So, the Mullah, who was always present there as a sort of servant, listening to his wife and following him in every respect, he was quite cunningly in league with the mother, and he poisoned the children against the father’s religion. And the children would not dare to tell the father. They would go with him to the mosque, say the prayer and come back, and there was a complete lack of communication between the father and the mother on one hand, and the father and the children on the other hand. So, this resulted in a situation that when the father closed his eyes, the family went astray, the whole of it. While in those cases where mothers were also Ahmadis, the family remained steadfast in Ahmadiyyat and offered great sacrifices.
So, the impression received by some Punjabi Ahmadis that the Pathan’s are not loyal in this respect, and under trial they will go astray, and once they accepted Ahmadiyyat, then ultimately they ran away, is totally wrong. Those who accepted Ahmadiyyat never turned their back on Ahmadiyyat. What happened was, they left offsprings, unfortunately, in the hands of hostile mothers. And it was these hostile mothers who ultimately did the damage and completed the route. So, that was the result of my study of North-Western Frontier Province. And ever since I have met and spoken on this subject, discussed it with various knowledgeable people from North-Western Frontier Province, and they bear me out that they also believe that this is the reason why it happened.
Where both were together, I mean both were pious and committed Ahmadis, their children are very good Ahmadis. In second generation, even in third generation, they are quite faithful. In Bangladesh also, something like that happened. Not exactly of the same nature because they had different cultures, but this Chanda played a havoc in Bangladesh too. Once, for example, I spoke to… You know, I’ll tell you something very interesting. There was a deputy, Ghulam Haider, a very devout Ahmadi of Bangladesh, of early times, who was also a Musi. I’ll tell you what happened to this family. Once I was travelling from Khulna to a port near Dhaka.
In fact, it was Khulna to… what’s it called area close to? Narayanagadh. Khulna to Narayanagadh by steamer. And the American consul was also travelling by that steamer. So, we happened to be together, so I started preaching to him and went into a very interesting discussion about Islam and Christianity. So, there was a thorough gentleman, you know, all tip-top westernized gentleman, who was first sitting on the next table, then he started coming closer, listening to us. Then, you know, getting warmer and warmer, ultimately he requested me to be permitted to sit and participate. So, I said, of course, you’re most welcome.
So, after I finished the discussion, he said, now I want to introduce myself to you. I am the unfortunate son of Deputy Ghulam Haider. And the whole family had broken away from Ahmadiyyat. And this is the first time I am realizing and knowing what Ahmadiyyat is. Because as a quiet observer, as a neutral observer, I was listening to you and when you were describing Islam as compared to Christianity, my heart leapt out for this Islam. And I thought, is this the Islam I have broken away with? Because I had introduced myself to be an Ahmadi right in the beginning. So, he came back and then he contacted the mosque again. And in the remaining period, he introduced to me what had happened to his family. In that case as well, his father was a Musi, and a very devout person. His mother was a very cunning non-Ahmadi. He told me, for instance, that she would tell us, some of us, to ask her father for a motor bicycle. And he was a deputy of some sort, but not a very wealthy person and he was not corrupt either. And also being a Musi, he had to pay one-tenth to the community.
So, he could not afford it. And she would even go beyond his means, creating demands among the children. And when that would be rejected, he told me that we would come to the mother, no, father says no. He said, see, this is what comes of becoming an Ahmadi. They are very treacherous people, these Ahmadis. They suck the money out like leeches, suck the blood of human beings. And they leave nothing for the poor children, and they are deprived of everything, and so on and so forth. So, he said that we started getting reaction within us, developing reaction so strong, that when the moment our father closed his eyes, we turned away from Ahmadiyyat, and we did not pay anything by way of his will. With the result that he was not buried as a Musi.
And when he told me that, he was almost crying. He said, now I feel deep guilty conscience, what we did to our father. But unfortunately, this is my story. So, then I asked Wali Muhammad Saheb to further investigate, and his finding was exactly the same. That in most cases, it was a difference between the religious views of the mother and the father, which created this unfortunate situation. So, it is not only a theoretical or doctrinal difference, which plays sometimes with the children, but also a difference of levels of righteousness. Sometimes mothers are more righteous, and it is the fathers who have bad influence on the family. And it is the law of science, that things must follow the path of least resistance, like electricity, like other forces of nature.
If a path with less resistance is available, you will not follow a difficult path. You will automatically follow the path of least resistance. So, in Tarbiyah, in bringing up of the future generation, this is a very important factor which plays its role. If the father is less pious, less righteous, and liberal, then the children would begin to follow the father’s way, and tend to be liberal, because it is to their own advantage. They enjoy life better, and they think the mother is an orthodox something, of old days. Let her be as she is, but follow the father, he is better in this respect. If it is the other way around, then they choose the mother as their model, and they begin to follow the liberal mother. So, there are so many factors involved.
How can I answer your question to the full? Because the situations are so much and so many and varying, that from family to family, we will have to analyze and find out the reason why this happened.
