That is Mr. Abhishek’s opinion and advice. So if you agree with that advice, you should follow it. What are the gaps in your case? Is that something too private to be discussed here? How old is your last child? Is he sitting here? And who was the son or daughter just older to him? So you have been following that advice? And asking me after you have already followed that advice? It’s useless now. The younger people should follow their parents. That is the general advice.
If they are good, they should follow their parents, generally speaking. And every family in fact has its own patterns. That I know. In marriage and in birth, conduct and behavior. There are families who are known, famous for large numbers, and there are families who are famous for small numbers. But there are some exceptions of course. But generally speaking, in some families you find large number of children. And so many factors go into making final decisions about it. In fact decisions are not made consciously. They themselves are being directed by unconscious forces. The fact is that if a woman is healthy and is capable of bearing more children, then it is not a planning.
It automatically happens that the people have more children, generally speaking. But if there is a standard of sophistication in the family, and the people are rich enough to enjoy life, it works as a prohibitive against large families. So the common notion that the rich people should have large number of children and the poor should have less, is exactly negated in the reality of life. What happens is the poor have large number of children and the rich have smaller number of children, through general thumb rule. Because they have means available to enjoy life, and children are a hindrance to their freedom and liberty to enjoy life. And they tax their health and time.
So they are intolerant of that. These are the two groups, and in between there are so many shapes. Nervous system also plays a very important role. Some women can tolerate 15 children around them, under worst conditions of life and still they survive somehow. And I have seen some ladies whose nervous system broke down with just two noisy children. So again the health is also an important factor. And the culture of a country, the conditions of a country, how the houses are built, the economic standards and so everything. So there are so many factors which automatically decide these questions, and there are few people who do it intentionally in our part of the world.
It just happens inadvertently, but there are certain factors which are subconsciously controlling these decisions. In this country, gradually, there has been a tendency towards smaller families. And the planning of this country also is motivated by the luxurious way of life. They do not want the standard to fall below, and the new generation to claim right into the wealth, so that the whole standard of the nation is lowered by their participation into their community wealth. That is the fear and the idea behind it. And this is the only fear which has been negated by the Holy Quran and rejected.
Birth control is permitted for reasons, many reasons, but not for this reason. If you fear shortage of food, shortage of wealth and resources, and then practice the birth control, then Allah Ta’ala rejects this. This is a crime. For other reasons, for upbringing, for health reasons, so many other reasons can come into picture. You can affect birth control according to the Holy Quran. But for this, that is, fearing that you will be, nationally or individually, you will be left with less wealth, less food and less provisions, that is the reflection of Allah Ta’ala. So Allah Ta’ala rejects this. If you follow Hazrat Mir Bashir Ahmad Sahib’s argument, from that you will understand that the birth control which he is advising is not based on the fear of shortage of food.
It is based on some inferences he has drawn from the Holy Quran. He says, as I know, that according to the Holy Quran, the time for looking after, for feeding, breastfeeding a child, according to the Holy Quran is about two years. And add to that nine months of pregnancy, and a no man’s land in between. So it comes up to about three years. Immediately after pregnancy, conception is not possible, so add a few months, two months for instance, in between, and it will come up to about three years. And some say two and a half years is the period of lactation.
So nine months plus that is three months, three years plus three, all this would make about the reasonable gap. Now that philosophy is based on the minimum. That is to say that the Holy Quran is advising you not to go too fast. Behave reasonably and moderately, and if you want to pack up children from bumper to bumper, even then the space available for you is just three years. You shouldn’t pack them too closely. But we see, generally speaking, in the poor countries particularly, people are completely regardless of even that advice. I have seen boys born or children born after ten months of the first child.
So that is not advisable for the reasons of health in fact, and when the period of lactation is described, that is understood. This is what was inferred by Hazrat Mirza Bashir Ahmad Sahib. As far as the five-year period is concerned, I don’t know why he said it, or whether he based this on some tradition or some verse of the Holy Quran, or if it was just an advice, I don’t know. So it is just a word of advice. I mean, it’s not anything based on religious teachings.
